Tuesday 30th April 2013

Clancy, my fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β  13 of 13.

What are you looking for asked a perplexed Fictitious Clancy?

Searching for an intellectual tickle I replied or something to tickle the readers fancy!!

I have no idea how he landed in my subconscious, but from frog spawn etc; etc; etc;

Hopefully I’ve joined all the dots

He is quite harmless really but then again, I’m assured leopards do at times change their spots.

You intellectual, smirked Fic Clancy

I’d hate to be your ventriloquist dummy I fancy

It wasn’t like Fic to be snide with his remarks

I told him in no uncertain manner, that out of 10 he’d deserve no marks

Fic was rather taken aback by this

Said he’d forget what I’d said and was willing to dismiss –

This bone of contention I seemingly had to pick with him

I said just a minute you started this discussion – now my patience was getting slim.

What to do to resolve this matter

Before this friendship I’m forced to shatter

Took myself to one side had a discussion on the subject

Thought about it long and hard – how to resolve it was my main object

I find when I have a problem to resolve

The best bet is to get lost in the record collection – watch the vinyl revolve

Fic Clancy and I have an eclectic collection

Depending on the mood determines the selection

More than likely start with Haggard followed closely by the late George Jones and some Mr. Tear Drop (Marty Robbins)

Then we’d beef it up a little with some classic vintage 60’s pop

A great way it must be said

To clear the mind and put quarrels to bed

Then when matters are thrashed out and resolved

We’d both agree a truce – problem solved

Fic would never be one to hold a grudge or leave a problem there to fester

If you were following his antics you’ll know he likes to play the court jester

So our discussion was on what caused this dilemma we find ourselves in

Fic said he heard a rumour that he was destined for the shred-it bin

I assured him this would not happen unless I was otherwise provoked

But for the time being he was destined for oblivion – unless, I joked

Those that who have followed thus far wish us to return and their fancies tickle

Me – I would never count my chickens – I’m a member of Joe Public I know to well the meaning of the word fickle!!!

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Monday 29th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β  12 of 13.

I put this question to friend Fictitious Clancy – Your passion for life where do you get it from

He explained it like this – purpose – with aplomb

To say that my gast was flabbered by such a profound statement is telling you the absolute truth

As we sat in the snug supping pints Fic said let’s discuss Babe Ruth

Now you never know with Fic which avenue he was going to take

But I for one was always ready to counter his slip up or mistake

But Fic was nothing if not direct when something had to be pursued

I thought then why not throw him a curved ball – one that would leave him screwed

I said, ok drop the Babe Ruth thought and we’ll play a game of rings

See who’s still standing whenever the fat lady sings

It’s many moons ago since Fic and I threw rings in Ryan’s of Parnell Street

As we started to reminisce about the folks we used to meet

The competition that we had on the nights we’d gather there

We were all young and foolish then none of us with a care

We all had our (L) plates on at that stage of our lives

All free and single not a thought of partners or of wives

Good times had by one and all each time we gathered round

We all enjoyed having a bet, in for a penny in for a pound

All good clean fun with never a cross word spoken – the world was then a friendlier place

But here we are now well adjusted and surviving in this rat race

We sat there looking at one another and our nearly empty glasses

Fic said Fiacra fill them up again – when in good company how quickly time passes

We continued to reminisce and talk of years gone by

Then he nodded and tipped me that wink – Fictitious Clancy could you meet a nicer guy?

Sunday 28th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β

Fictitious Clancy folded up his morning paper – smirked – and quietly said we are running out of ink

This statement took me by surprise – I did not know what to think

What makes you jump to that conclusion, this question I posed to him?

He said we’ve gone to the well too often – now it’s time to sink or swim

So I threw him this life-line – Let us bang our heads together allow our thoughts run free

We will write a proper poem you can rely on me

O.K. he said I’ll stand back and leave this one to you

But here’s the challenge – compose a poem comprised of the word flu.

So I sat down with a blank page relishing the task in hand

There’s nothing like a challenge to write something on demand

So I closed my mind to the outside world with no Fic to consult

All I hope is that you are pleased with the end result.

Streaming eyes,

Running nose,

Symptoms of flu

What to do?

Pill pop

Hope to stop

Cold sweat,

Sickly feeling

Head thumping

Major sneeze

Some ease,

Hot Toddy

Straight to bed

Duvet up – cover head

Next day throw a sickie

Then recover – One flu over.

Fic emerged waving a white handkerchief –

And declared – never again will I shy away from giving you a brief.

Thank you I said – will I tell you what I think?

There’s plenty of lead left in that pencil he said – with that smirk and that wink.

11 of 13.

Saturday 27th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β   10 of 13

Fictitious Clancy addressed me across the snug table –

After coming through the University of Life is this all you have left to offer?

But look at me; I came through the school of hard knocks I proffer

I thought to myself this episode is going to be quite profound

Then Fic got up on his soap box – metaphorically speaking

Fic, now feeling very comfortable in his own skin – never minded when he had something to say if it was bettered by a little tweaking

So placing his pint to one side – he folded his arms and started to relate his latest offering –

Allow this knowledge course through your system – like life’s blood

Today may you have peace within, trust that you are where you are meant to be?

Use the gifts that have been bestowed on you, pass on your love for others to benefit from.

Share your talents with the world – they are endless.

Focussing on your goals will in effect make them happen – positive thoughts always.

Continue to draw from the endless well of peace – you are bound to inspire calmness in others.

Release all your fears by breathing in strength, express yourself in song and dance; we are all born with rhythm in our soul.

Those around you will profit in you living a happy and peaceful life.

Sometimes Fic even amazes himself by his profundity

Me – I’m just bowled over by his virtuosity

We finished up our medication! Which tasted like some more?

Called on Fiacra in his own time to oblige us and two more pour

We sat there discussing the problems of the world but gave up after two mouthfuls

Too heavy for mere mortals like us – like the atmosphere too many molecules

Anyway we sat there considering our next move – great game dominoes

Passes time for old fogies or so the story goes

So until we meet again from me and Fictitious Clancy

Hope we hit on something here that has tickled your fancy.

Friday 26th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β

While out enjoying our daily constitutional just shooting the breeze

Fictitious Clancy turned to me and with consummate ease

Said out of the blue – It’s a Barnum and Bailey world as the saying goes

With the clowns running the whole empire – ring leaders are definitely no shows

They are pushing us poor urchins to the limit

In fact – There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute

That’s not me expounding on this fact I’ll have you know

Listen to any news bulletin or watch any live T.V. debate show

It really is the inmates running the asylum

Ask any down and out or any skid row bum.

I’d like to take a straw poll for pig iron if nothing else

Just to prove this point –

That people are now watching soaps as for truth they delve

It’s getting very hard to decide what fact is and what fiction is

Appears to me we are being lead by those moguls running show bizz

We are just the extras in this black comedy called life

Existing it should said on pig swill and on strife

Once they (the leaders) can keep us from rebelling they are sure to always hold the upper hand

While we continue to grumble under our breath and struggle through quick sand!

When Fic gets on his high horse there’s no telling which road his utterances will take

I can never argue with his out bursts – you may if you can find an error or mistake.

So from myself and Fictitious Clancy until next we meet – remember the show must go on

It’s getting close to that time when we must sing our swan song.

9 of 13.

Thursday 25th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β

Seize the moment – Fictitious Clancy said as his horse passed the post

Pull us another two pints there Fiacra – we have to have a toast

Toast says I to Fic what a very good idea

Not often that the bookies clerk would prefer not to see ya

What terrible grammar quick thinking Fic retorted

I really didn’t give a tinkers curse as to the bookies I, Fic escorted

He presented at the desk handed in his docket

Stood patiently waiting for his win – quickly placed it in his pocket

Back we went into the snug our two pints had settled well

Fic turned to me with that smirk what about Pricilla pray tell?

I suggested that she wouldn’t mind once you tell her you’ve booked a villa

And that both of you this weekend were going to Seville

Fic looked at me in total shock not to mention sheer horror – and said you miss the point

I mean when we get back home worse for wear – I was only going for one pint!!

Now here we are on our fourth already

Not quite tipsy but a little unsteady

Just then his phone gave out a whistle – Fic had just received a text

It was Pricilla; she was just dropping in on the pretext –

That instead of dining in they might have dinner out

Fic mopped his brow, breathed a sigh of relief and ordered another three pints of stout.

8 of 13.

Wednesday 24th April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious Friend.

C. J. Black©β

My-self and Fictitious Clancy while out one day hill walking

Decided we should collaborate try do a little writing instead of rubbish talking

I asked Fic to concentrate his mind on a certain subject

Then we’d both sit down try and write a poem on the object

Now Fic could be at times a rather deep thinker other times be quite profound

So he suggested – compose a piece on why people in this day and age so many are rotund

I didn’t feel over confident in writing on this subject which could be quite offensive

When I put this to Fic he got quite defensive

He said with his usual smirk – why should I be the one to always choose?

Are you afraid to step out of my shadow for fear that you may loose?

Now just to put you in the picture we have never had a falling out

We would always adjourn to our local snug argue it out over a couple of pints of stout

Then when the air was cleared we’d both head for home

Clap ourselves on the back – result another poem.

So there you are its simple just let your fingers do the talking

Jot down each thought that comes into your head especially when out walking

As you can see from our ramblings Fic and I are amateurs

So go to it give it your best shot prove to yourself you can write a poem – WordPress will also publish yours.

So until the next time from my-self and Fictitious Clancy

Look forward to your masterpiece – It might well tickle our fancy.

7 of 13

Tuesday 23rd April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β

We were sitting by the river bank my-self and Fictitious Clancy watching, as the world passed by

When our conversation veered down the road of “politics” I still can’t fathom the reason why

Neither of us are what you might call political anoraks

But we take a passing interest in politician’s talk of cutbacks

These always seem to fall on those who earn a lesser wage

They never seem to us at least to affect those on the bigger stage

So we tossed some ideas about we thought we might share with you

Perhaps some politicians might take note – maybe even comment on our view

First on the agenda is how we’d attempt to fix the country’s debt

Fic will always speak his mind – he is never one to worry or to fret

As Fic is like all politicians and to major gaffes is prone

But once he gets an idea – he is like a dog with a juicy bone

So let us now take a deep breath and these ideas lay on you

And maybe when we finish the world won’t seem really that askew

We are fully aware that a poem should scan and also rhyme

But forgive the next few lines we’ll get back to rhyme in time

So here we go with the task in hand – these are some of our proposals

(1)   Pay the estimated 0.4 million over 50’s in the work force 1 million euros severance for early retirement with the following stipulations –

(2)   They MUST retire. Must not reapply for their positions. 0.4 million job openings – unemployment fixed.

(3)   They MUST buy a new car. 0.4 Million cars ordered – Car industry fixed.

(4)   They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing crisis fixed.

(5)   They MUST send their children to school/college/university – crime rate fixed.

(6)   Finally – They MUST buy 100 euros worth of alcohol/tobacco a week… There’s your money back in duty/tax etc;

Could be more to follow if we feel inclined – Poetry can be changed around mixed up and not defined

Now that we have got this off our chest there is no more to write – To finish off all we ask is for Grumpies of the World to Unite.

6 of 13.

Monday 22nd April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β

Our mutual friend Fictitious Clancy a bachelor at heart

But committed to his wife of 30 years the long suffering Pricilla Hart

Pricilla too is independent and leads a “single life” from time to time

This suits Fic who likes to show at times – that he is still in his prime

Both have stayed “faithful” down the years but still enjoyed the good life

There is a lesson to be learned from this whether you’re a husband or a wife.

The stories that Fic would relate while we are in each others company

Are not for publication or he would swing for me

But down the years we use one another as a private confessional

It takes a great deal of pressure off in acting quite professional

We are all in need of someone outside of the family circle whom we can trust with what’s on our mind

So when Fic has a problem he’ll look to confide in me no matter what its kind

I could tell you stories that would make the hair stand on your head

But suffice to say I can not snitch, nor light on his confessions shed

As you know by now if you have been following the antics of friend Fic Clancy

You’ll understand from his comical smirk and his flight of fancy

There are times he likes to play at being Jack the Lad

And try and drop me in the mire of which sometimes I’ll admit I’m glad

Fic and I would regularly go on a spree and enjoy a lad’s week-end

The antics we’d get up to you would not comprehend

But as this poem may be published before the water shed

It’s time to call a halt and put this piece to bed

But fear not there is plenty more from the diary of Fic Clancy

That will not shock you be guaranteed of that, but might just well tickle your fancy.

5 of 13

Sunday 21st April 2013.

Clancy, my Fictitious friend.

C. J. Black©β                   4 of 13.

My-self and Fictitious Clancy had arranged for our day out

We got the loan of a fishing boat we were going fishing for some trout

One of Fic’s famous sayings is – the key is not to panic

But when the fishing boat sprung a leak you’d swear it was the Titanic

The funny thing about it all we were still practically on dry land

We had just unhooked, had crossed a rivulet and were pulling it across the sand.

So ended our voyage out to sea for which I silently gave praise

I may show bravery on the outside – you don’t really want to know what my inner self displays

I guess Fic suspects but never will pass a remark of any sort

For I guess he knows I am aware of his fear of flying but I never would retort

Anyway we hooked up the boat and returned it to its birth

And adjourned to the nearest bar and this story he poured forth

I knew when he winked at me and I saw this smirk

That I was just to sit back and watch the master at his work

Well he told the few who sat around the bar of the struggle that he had

In trying to land this fish, I tell you I was glad

That all I had to do was agree by giving him the confident nod

It was all a fishy story, in fact it was all a cod

The lads around the bar were intrigued the more they drank

I don’t think they would have blinked an eye if Fic told them the boat had sunk.

Another day of adventure with our friend Fictitious Clancy and our infamous boat trip

We finished our drinks and both agreed it was time for a ray and chip

So from my-self and Fictitious Clancy until we meet again

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